justAnotherStory //.

30 October 2004

My eyes burn
Matchbook Romance

My eyes burn from these tears
You think youd learn over these years
Good things wont last forever

So what the hell am I suppose to do
You only wanted the things that I couldnt give to you
And you had it all anyway

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnt there in the first place
So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnt there in the first place

Tell me i'm wrong when I say
I cant expect you to stay forever with me
I live for the single moment
I take back everything ive said
You would those words on your lips
As if they meant anything anyway

Sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth
It seems I do more harm than good
And I dont know if it’s worth me losing sleep over this

sorry. is all i can say.

[love can lift u up or tear u down]

2:39 AM

29 October 2004

sigh`. my blog screwed arh..and everythin is gone. so this blog is kinda b0-chap cus im in a rush. btw..new pics updated. take care. good luck to all those O level takers.

10:45 PM

27 October 2004

Sigh` so xian arh at home. Cus when im at home, I will onie surf and surf the net till my parents got home. Den, at nyte, after buka den I will start revising. Sheesh..its 5 more days and my fers O level paper which is ss is here.
Followed by
eng paper 1 and 2 - 3rd nov
maths paper 1 - 4th nov
maths paper 2 - 8th nov
chemistry - 9th nov
geog - 17th nov
sci MCQ - 22 nov
Biology - 23rd nov

After tt..i can weeeeee woOhooo..forget all those exams. Aper tu exam? Aper tu lesson? Alarmak really cant wait fer the dae arh. Bt den my last paper ends at 2pm. Tsk tsk.. sumore biology. My "favourite" subject of ALL TYME. its wokae..im holding on..and ive owaes told myself, this is goin to be over before I realise. Theres owaes happiness up ahead..=]

Everyday lepak seh at home. Bt nt yesterdae arh. At least went out. Ehh kena wait fer my fwen fer the whole 1 and half hours ok? So lambat ar…can tdo jap.. narh I just nid those fresh air outside..see pple carrying on wif their life n stuffs. Cus if I kept licking up myself in my room, things never gonna get anywhere and it wont heal me.

I cant wait fer tomorrow! Ahakz.. my school gonna have the final talentime. Sheesh..im so sad. It’s the last talentime fer me to watch. Gonna snap pixs oso. Yay! Yeah im cuming down to watch. I cant wait to see those GCH perform again. My bro told me they are playing hadirnya cinta. Den freaka told me gt dis band playing Oi! to the world.. i wonder..talentime has changed a lot over the years. Last tyme..those contestant mostly sing pop songs or wad.. and now…
Ahakz..i still remember wae back in sec 1.. me n my gurlfwens perform if only by a1. kental seh, we owaes luff at it whenever we tok abt it. Tt tyme, it was the fers talentime. Most of my classmates kena perform cus we all hand in our music assignment. So, the forfeit was to perform fer the talentime. Ahakz. Hey..tk leh tahan arh…zaman sec 1…ishk ishk..anak abu abess.....

Alarh im really missing my fwens larh. Sit at home constantly reminds me of how much fun I used to have in my class and skool. Sheesh..i wish I cud turn back tyme.

Fido- anjing laut/ 24/7 non stop crap. Partner in emo-ing and CRIME.
Yannie- singa lapar /my girlfwen. Same as fido..partner in nonsensical stuffs.
Fairul- indeed ONE unique guy. Stressing over unimportant stuffs. Hey! My hairstylist.
Ija- dffrnt schedule brought us apart maybe? Wadever it is, we’ve been tru thick n thin together fer all the past years. Remember? Great mind think alike. Bluek mats n minahs.
Yan- jepon. ahakz. U better take care of ewul hor! And, must promise me do well fer O level aite? Concentrate on this thingy fers.
Akram/Kaka- u! nv stop irritating me. Call pranks huh.. the BIGGEST MAN U freak.
Malik- good. Nv dsturb pple. Ahakz. Ehh ehh jiwang arh dek ni..good in drama hUH?
Fair- damn GENIUS aite. Anak JAY katerkan…
Fee- kwang kwang mat mat rep rep..ahakz jkjk.. its wokae dokes.. thx fer those sarcasm!
Afiqa- fie/freakaz/freaque/fweaque and lots more. This sort twins. Stick to her twin 24/7 arh. The FERS one to help me wif blogging. Thx hor. Aite aite..tmr we take pix. I promise!

My mum backed cheese cookies yesterdae. I didnt want to do it actlly bt she insist. Haizza..this baking stuffs so leceh arh.. I onie lyke to eat. Den todae. She ask me do choc chip. Gosh..ALONE? so I told her I nid to study..yeah excuses n excuses. Narh..ill just wait fer this weekend when my aunts n cousins are cuming over. They gonna make a bakery out of my kitchen. The best part..SLEEPOVER! bt den.. the next few daes are my O level..

[ill keep this as a constant reminder. Im never gonna disappoint myself again]

1:43 PM

23 October 2004

Had my graduation ceremony yesterdae. Wasnt tt very grand I must sae. Bt, a memorable one arh. Reached skool at 2.15pm. Semangat seh. I tot dey say start at 2.15pm. so..Mr osman said..it will start at 3pm. Sigh`. Yannie me n fairul use the tyme to take one last tour in skool and snap pixs.

Actlly my skool prepared a buffet fer us. But too bad, we are fasting. Bt we were given those containers to ta pao arh.. mesti larh all those boys aper lagi…tk melepaskan peluang..bnyk she amik. Kwang kwang kwang..

The graduation ceremony started wif a speech by ang ju lang.. lucky its nt a drag arh. Ehh not onie we are graduating aite. Our principal oso graduating arh. Shes leaving fer another skool. Ms tan was our emcee. I guess shes having flu..cus her voice…very sengau. Then theres a mini award ceremony fer the star achiever.. I am very proud of evone. Shes clever. And shes nv stingy when it comes to teaching.. after tt..we had a short speech by two of the graduating coralian. It was followed by a video arh..showing pics of how we used to look lyke..when we started out way baik in 2000. kwang kwang kwang..mesti larh selenge.. okae memories memories.. last words frm mr goh..
Me: thank you very much cher..u never stopped irritating me..
Him: u so cute..study hard and marry a good n hansem man later.
Whacked..

ok larh, no doubt everyone will criticize their own skool ryte. Bt sigh`. Till tis point, im quite sad to leave the school larh. It did teaches me a lot of stuffs. I met many fwens. Wae back in pri 1..the fers dae, some of us are still in our pri skool uniform while some dh semangat ni our new sec school uni. So, me n khai used to hate mr cheong and make fun of every teacher tt steps in. Indeed, mr cheang is a good maths teacher. 5 years..seems ti fly so fast. We grew up together. The guys were shorter den us during the lower sec years..bt dey shoot up aite now. CCA..frm i.t club, I entered video club. Den move on to photography club..and lastly I joined band. So when I was sec 4..i had 2 cca.. bof photography and band. Of all the festives, I enjoyed my Opening ceremony in 2001 the most.

My sec school years taught me how to mix around. Handle fwens and problems. I did fall a lot of tymes. Fwens do come and go. Crushes. Crying. Going to secret places wif my grlfwens. Making noise in class. Skipping class. Going to the loo whenever I can. Vain ryte. Theres more to sae, just tt it cudnt get into my head now.

Theres onie one thing tt im goin to miss badly when I left coral..they are my fwens..yarh.
Too many too mention. U guys stays here wif me deep inside..
Farewell to my peeps…sob sob sob..so many goodbyes in a short tyme..

[were back lyke how we used to be. Cause siblings wont runaway..]

1:50 PM

21 October 2004

Pretty Girl
By Sugarcult

Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
And that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head

its the way that he makes you feel
it's the way that he kisses you
its the way that he makes you fall in love

shes beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head

sigh`. Those zoo york sneakers. Denim jeans. Red hang ten tee. Adidas haversack. I'll never
forget. A date to remember. 21102004. we sat and talk. Ended wif tears. Sigh` im sorry.
I never blame you.
.laughter.joys.smiles. gone fer a moment.
pain.sorrow.tears has taken over.

When the night comes. Thats when I start to reminisce about the past. The memories. Let me keep it all to myself. Cus it wouldn't do any difference. Sometimes I laugh…how silly myself can be. Bt den,
I will cry again..at how u mean to me and how I lost.
"the love we made. Can never be erased. I promised you. You will never be replaced."

Tomorrow is my graduation ceremony. Drag myself. Im not looking forward fer it tho. Entah?

I have no where to turn to. Except Allah. He will listen to my rants. Insyallah, there's a brighter dae waiting fer me.

[u’re still cared.loved.cherished.remembered.]

8:52 PM

18 October 2004

Ex Marks The Spot
by Matchbox Romance

love is just another word for pain
it's a broken record repeating the same thing
when you want it it's not there
when you have it you don't care
when i lose it in the end...

the heartbreak, the heartache is more than i wanted
we gave up, we made up
it's not like you cared
deception, depression is all that i've got
am i losing what's there

and i've made up my mind
i'd be better off alone
love is just a waste of time

and all the lonely nights
and all the crushing scenes
and all the pointless fights

someone tell me what it means
someone tell me why hearts break
'cuz sometimes i think this thing called love is another word for pain

and i'm giving up on happy endings
the one's that are only in movies
where the guy gets the girl and everybody's happy
i think that's the way it should be

had my sci practical just now. sheesh.. bio arh.. sigh` very complicated arh.. a lot of stuffs to
do. chem..hmmz lagi trok arh. ive shld have guessed. my fwens we correct. tritration did really came out! bt luckily..its nt the complicated one where we must use the buerette and retort stand and all those stuffs larh. bt still..there's this qns which requires us to explain abt it. sigh`. gt to work on the theory then. enuf abt d O's. 2 more weeks. social studies is here.

at last.. i met my gurlfwen just now. hehe. so many daes oready n i miss her. mcm biasa lorh..giler tk abes-abes.

i tot my graduation day was todae. bt they told me it was this friday instead. its at 2.15. dunnoe larh dey sae gt dinner n stuffs. hmmz..gonna get report book back on tt dae. ishk. got phobea seh. conferm my parents freak out.

skool ends. gonna miss skool n my peeps. ini larh dia..when there's skool..i nv attend.when skool ends..im startin to miss it. miss my class. miss my chair n table wif raul's name carved on it. miss miss tan's loud voice. miss those sweets given by jai. miss fido's n yannie's companion in class. miss evone's fantasies over ronald. miss zairul crap. miss ozee lufter.miss ah-kiats beatings. miss all those petualangs at the back. one thing fer sure..u guys did play a big part in my sec school daes. yannie,fido,fair,mail,jai,hanafee,haidir are the ones who have been in the same class wif me since sec 1. its wokae..conferm raya kecoh.

lst bt not least...happy berfdae to my sis.aka.grlfwen...PIKa. ahakz. dh 18 years old yer.bt still remains petite. i'll outgrown u. muaha. ehh cepat larh amik lesen..den can tompang me.go work together. hmmz..jadi anak yg soleha yer. and yeah..thx fer all those late nyte calls andcrapz. jabejabejes..shinkopak!

[tryin.tryin.and still trying.]

4:34 PM

15 October 2004

sigh`. i didnt expect dis to happened. foolish of me to believed u.he was right. there was something u were keeping frm me. u lied. ill pretend ntgh happened. fer the sake of us. this tears, it wont stop flowing.the pain, only allah knoes.

ramadhan is here. syukur alhamduliah. hope can make full use of it. somehow..after all dis messhappening, ill turn to allah. he'll guide me to the ryte path. praying. fasting. nt to gossip.nt to go on date. keep my eyes to myself. insyallah.

few more weeks to o levels..and the battle is here. good luck to my mates.

[inner strength. is all i need.]

5:50 PM

13 October 2004

Screaming Infedilities - Dashboard Confessionals

I'm missing your bedI never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home

I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet
Make sure I know who's taking you home.

I'm reading your note over again
And there's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
I will love you always and forever

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone
Making out.

I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending.

I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets and I am alone
In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home

[its purely unintentional. sorry.]

9:33 PM

12 October 2004

.u knoe i fight for you but how can i fight someone who isn't even there.
.so as for now i sit alone and wonder how u're making out.

[sorry peeps. gve my old self back]

1:13 PM

11 October 2004

I wonder if you're listening. Picking up on the signals. Sometimes it feels like I don't really know what's going on . Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here.
I've been bleeding well from this old wound. Sometimes eyes turn black sometimes scars are tracks. i cant expect you to stay forever wif me. In times when I got the best of you. i couldn't sleep.

.and the stars aren't out tonight.
.but neither are we to look up at them.
.why does hello feel like goodbye?.
.these memories can't replace.
.these wishes i wished.
.and these dreams i chased.
.take this broken heart and make it right

ERASE all this. i take back my words.

[would you take my hand and never let me go..promise me you'll never let me go?]

10:26 AM

09 October 2004

.blasting my ears to those emo punk songs.
.pretending ntgh did ever happened.
.balsting dis air-con.
.freezing here.
.but who ever bothers?.
.no one.
.i screwed things up.
.AGAIN.
.sorry.

Dan
Sheila On 7

Dan...
Bila esok datang kembali
Seperti sedia kala dimana kau bisa bercanda
Dan...
Perlahan kaupun, lupakan aku
Mimpi burukmu
Dimana t'lah kutancapkan duri tajam
Kaupun menangis, menangis sedih
Maafkan aku...
Dan...
Bukan maksudku, bukan inginku
Melukaimu sadarkah kau di sini 'kupun terluka
Melupakanmu, menepikanmu
Maafkan aku
Lupakanlah caci maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulu kala

[ill stop whinning. sorry.]

4:45 PM

08 October 2004

sheesh. damn xian AGAIN. alarmak si fido ni kat sebelah macm sambal habis! org suroh keluar tak nak. duduk kat sini nak tengok aper orang buat. lu mcm sambal arh. ahakz. k larh. joking jer dokes. yannie ngah sebok makan seh...biaser arh kater singa lapar! makan porkchop kepe... RAfi finish all the peel fresh drinK! urgHHHHhh... alarmak petualang around me nie sume sebok to the max. ahakz.

ahakz. yesterdae my house was kinda art-funfare thingy seh. my bro fwens all cum my house. den fido and yannie came to my house oso. sheesh.. must help fido's art lah. all last minute thingy. house havoc seh. den fido malu2 want to eat larh. but den..air togok habis nie! malu konon... yannie left earlier cus she's meeting fer cousin. so fido left arnd 8pm.

rindu- Hijjaz

Orang-orang yang bertaqwa
Rindu akan kebenaran
Kejujuran dan keikhlasan
Keredhaan Tuhannya
Merindukan cahaya
Yang menyinari kehidupan
Rindu pada Tuhan
previously from fido's blog. hehe..the rest refer to yannie's blog.

[so if i did something wrong please tell me. i want to understand]

10:55 AM

07 October 2004

listen to my heart.beat for you.telling you that i adore you.if you wanna know.how much i feel inside.

sheesh im using the class comp again ahakz. todae gt maths remedial till 3pm. sheesh gonna be a drag again. haizza. bt nvm..not many pple will turn up tho. very peaceful. can sae tt yannie and me have the best place. we got the window by our side and fan at a full blast at the back. weee...
btw..mr feroze found out abt me writtin abt him falling down frm the chair. ahakz. bt he nv scold larh. dunch worry. he lepak marh.. champion kepe. he arhh very blur u knoe. at fers when i sae blog.. he tot tt "block" sigh` teachers dees daes. Lolx.

Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows,
I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me
How will I know

[listen to my heart beat for you.telling you tt i adore u. if u wanna knoe. how much i feel inside.]

3:15 PM

What went wrong
Blink 182

im sick of always hearing,
All the sad songs on the radio All day,
It is there to remind an over sensitive guy,
That he's lost and alone

I hate our favourite resturant ur favourite movie, our favourite show
We would stay up all through the night,
We would laugh and get high,
And never answer the phone.

I cant forgive,
Cant forget,
Cant give in
what went wrong,
Cos you said this was right

[ku tk bisa mengapaimu. takkan mungkin bisa]

10:15 AM

06 October 2004

sigh`. tt's alll i can say. gosh im left wif 3 weeks and my social studies paper are gonna be here.
2 daes i never go skool. lazy. den just now.. the fers haf of the dae was free period. so i sat in the canteen
wif yannie and do our own revision. after recess..we cabot. go eat den now..she's here at my house..
ahakz. gawd wad is happening to me..gettin lazier and lazier each dae. sheesh`

ntgh is on my mind now except about pika. i constantly think abt her. i dun think she's doin fyne tho
she told me not to worry. sigh`. wad a bastard he is. HOW DARE U LAY A HAND ON HER! sick u larh.
so wad if u got ur gerl. u got one big damn ego. and u even fight wif a girl? haizza so wad if u gt backup.
hello..please larh..look at ur own self. urghHHH i cant stand it. tho she's petite..bt u gt NO right to slap.
fucker u. i swear. sheesh i better not right anything more cus my blood is boiling,. the moment i read all
those taggies..it spoilt my whole mood..

i dunnoe wad's wrong larh. really. wad is happening to pple dis daes..

puasa is coming. and it's next week. ahakz. haizza conferm go terawih...ahakz. bt kind off tk sabar oso arh.
den can owaes break fast wif my family together. the best part..hari raya. bt still..cannot think of tt now.
cus if puasa is here.. tt means my O level is here oso. haizza cant enjoy tt much. but wait! after O level..bluek to those stuff tt has been a burden to me.

Im counting off. A few more hours and im goin out wif my grlfwen. Where else can it be ryte. Our port. Release tension dokes…

[tt says it all.]

1:24 PM